I'm telling the story of buying my books a) to make sure I follow through with something I need to do; and b) because I am amazed at my ability to be dishonest if no one is looking. So I went to buy a few books from my law school's bookstore yesterday because after looking at my syllabus online I discovered I was missing a few. I was a little peeved at having to drive an hour in each direction on a Saturday because I had already ordered my books ahead of time and for whatever reason, the ones missing were not sent to me as part of the course. My classes start Tuesday, so I didn't really have a choice because there's always an assignment due the first class, and luckily the bookstore was open for last minute purchases.
So I go to the bookstore and a nice guy (the same one that is always there) helps me find the books I'm looking for, I grab a few notebooks and a blank videotape (more on that in another post - its needed for one of my classes) and head up to the register. I notice as I'm paying that the total is startlingly low - $14 and some change. Anyone who has ever purchased textbooks knows that this is not possible, no matter how small or beat up the book may be. But still, I say nothing, partially thinking maybe since they are small paperback books that that is correct, but really knowing he must not have charged me for them.
So I get out to the car and study the receipt further and realize the books are not on there. In fact, if they had been, the total would have been over $200. So do I march right back in and point out the mistake and hand over my credit card so it can be charged correctly? No, I do not. I am in a rush and want to get home; I justify that we have already given so much money to the school, we deserve this little break. And off I go. But on the way home that little voice starts going: "What if the guy that helped you gets fired for the mistake? What if this is the beginning of a downward spiral for him and he can't find another job all because you were too dishonest and cheap to go back in and hand over the stupid money? He has never been anything but helpful to you and now you just possibly threw him in the fire." Not to mention the fact that what I did is in effect, stealing. So I call B to tell him the story (ever notice saying something out loud really drives the truth home a lot faster?) And of course B is like, "you have to straighten this out - what if the guy gets fired?" And as we're talking it is cemented that I must remedy this - phew! After being disgusted at myself for a few minutes I call the bookstore and ask for the guy and explain what happened; luckily he doesn't freak out and we agree I'll come in on Tuesday and get it straightened out.
That's part of the reason I'm writing this - so I can write a follow up post about fixing it. The other reason I'm writing it is because it just really drove home the point for me - character is not about what you do when others are looking, it's what you do when no one may ever know about your actions. Unfortunately I failed the first part, but I'm thankful I can go back and make it better. Sorry if I bored anyone with this post - its really an accountability thing for myself. Thank goodness for honest husbands and for that little voice called a conscience that God put in us all. Thanks for listening!
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2 comments:
Yes, thank God for conscience. As an attorney, your currency will be your character and integrity. You're off to a fabulous start!!!
Wow - the other day, Lee and I realized we forgot to put the bag of dog food onto the checkout belt at the grocery store and managed to get away without paying for it. We practically ran through the parking lot to pack up the car and make our get away before the check-out girl realized we made off with a 25 lb bag of pilfered kibble. You are so much better than us!
I know that you never would have been able to open that text book if you felt guilty about not paying for it, so for the sake of your grades, I'm glad you're going to pay for it!
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